So much to say!
Our pediatrician recommended a book to us while we were pregnant called
On Becomming Baby Wise. The idea is this; babies do not know when to sleep and when to be awake. You the parent have to make decisions about when they should eat, be awake and sleep. The book recommends putting the baby on a schedule. Feeding the baby every 2 1/2 -3 1/2 hours based on three things.
1. The clock. During the day I wake Aby up if it has been three and a half hours to eat, at night I let her sleep as long as she wants. I wake Aby every morning at the same time for her first feeding, so we start and finish our day about the same time. This allows me to know in advance about what time she will eat. For example. We wake everyday between 7:30-8am. On a 3 hour schedule Aby will eat again at about 10:30 and on Sundays we are just getting to church at that time so I know that I need to pump a bottle before we leave for church every week!
2. Aby's hunger cues. When Aby is hungry it is obvious for a couple reasons. She will suck on her hands and yell at them when they don't produce! She has a pretty specific hunger cry, and she will also root around like a spaz trying to latch onto anything that touches her cheeks or lips!
3. My good judgement. Based on these things (the clock and Aby's hunger cues) I can use my Oh so keen decision making skills to decide weather or not to feed her before the clock says so or let her sleep a little longer so that I can finish running some errands or writing this blog post! I am in charge, and I decide when to bend the rules!
The schedule that Aby is on also includes wake time and nap time.
Wake time. After Aby eats I intentionally wake her up. I read to her, sing to her, play with her on her belly, sit her in her bumbo, change her diapers, give her a bath, put funny bows on her head and take pictures...anything to keep her awake for about an hour and a half. After this comes naptime.
Nap time. Naptime lasts from an hour and a half to two hours. Sometimes Aby goes to sleep like a champ. Other times she cries for the entire time that she should be napping and I get her up from her crib to eat again without a minute of sleep and its wake time again. It sounds like a horrible thing to do but hear me out...
When I get Aby up I feed her for as long as she wants. I let her nurse until her little heart is content. I do not allow her to fall asleep on the breast but make sure that she gets a full feeding everytime. If you have ever breastfed a baby you know that this is though because they start eating and pass right out, and you also have to feed on both breasts wich can be a hassel on the moms part. I keep her awake so that I know she is sleepy when nap time rolls around and so that she knows that it is daytime and not night time! And before I put her to sleep I swaddle her, I rock her, I put on her sleepy music and shush her a little and just before she falls asleep I put her in her bed. Like I said sometimes she will look at me walk away and then I never hear a peep and other times she will scream bloody murder as soon as her head hits the sheets. But because I know that she is full, her diaper is clean, and she is sleepy I am comfortable letting her cry for a little while. After 10-15 minutes if she hasn't stopped I go back in (like the book says) and check her diaper, assess for hunger cues, (change her diaper, or feed her in needed) and swaddle her back, rock her again and try again. The second time I might wait longer but it is rare that she doesn't fall asleep before 15 minutes is up unless something actually is wrong and once it is corrected she goes right to sleep.
So that is what I think about crying it out. I do it, I hate it when she cries but she sleeps through the night!
I have also heard some people say the baby is feeling abandoned when they are crying and that they feel unloved and things of that nature and at first I was worried that Aby may resent me or feel abandoned and this is my comclusion. Aby knows she is loved because of the time I spend with her between naps. She knows that we love her because we feed her and bath her and smile and talk and sing to her, she knows that she is loved because we hold her and kiss her and tickle her, she knows that she is loved because we do these things when she is wide awake and not half asleep and fighting it with tears. That's not from any book its just my honest opinion.
